Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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