i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
