i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
