Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
farters have to be the big spoon...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
