Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
