Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
time to smoke my breakfast
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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