is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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