Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize