i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
