Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
