There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
