it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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