Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
