Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
