Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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