these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
They took my balls.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
