goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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