If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
