making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
