My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
