His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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