i may or may not be watching the land before time
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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