I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
