just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
