Can Purell be used as lube?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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