I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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