CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
