Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
