She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
