he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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