Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We got so high we made milksteak
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
