And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
