What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
