I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
