some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
