Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
