Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
