if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
