I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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