Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
