I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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