she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I see more hoeing in ur future
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