He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
