Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
