she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize