So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
