do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
