Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
