Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
