Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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