you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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