It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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