I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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