hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am naked and annoyed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
