she was so not down for the gang bang
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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