How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
