Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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