I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
