That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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