You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
