Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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