either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
