Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
