I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
