I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My life is pants optional.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
