I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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