I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
