You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize