O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
