I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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