I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My penis needs a shock collar
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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