sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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