Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
