yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
