I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize