I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
